Author:BOLAJI OLASEENI
Broken, hurt and helpless, people in terrible situations often feel hated by the world. Their whole world seems to crash right in front of them. Friends turn their backs, lovers become haters and from being what their loved ones cannot do without, they become a pitiful sight, one that should not be seen often or too much. They become a shadow of themselves.
Yes, they get a lot of sympathy like never before, loads of them but the more the sympathy they get from people, the more they are reminded of their situation and the more bitter they are. The more they hate their sympathizers, the more they push them away. Whenever people sympathize with them, they feel mocked. Sometimes it turns out they are being actually mocked and sometimes, not.
The early days of their misery are always filled with people, some they know, some they don’t. Some they’ve not communicated with in a long time, some they are in constant touch with and some they have ex-communicated. They all come, trooping in, expressing how sorry they are. With different intentions they come, some to mock, to show their “sympathy” with words like ‘who would have thought it will end this way for you’, some to see things for themselves and some, to offer solutions.
They all come, They all go, the same way they came. One after the other, they leave. Of course they can’t be blamed, at least most of them. They all have their lives to live. Then, reality creeps in like darkness. In the virtual world they are surrounded by a lot of people but in the real world they feel alone. Their life feels meaningless to them, especially when who or what added meaning to their life is gone or whatever they lived for is gone.
They can’t deny the fact that they need help, sometimes they get it, but most times all they get is sympathy and words like ‘I know how you feel’ from people. Of course they don’t! Getting sympathy from people who have what they lost or are living the kind of lives they should be living makes them bitter, even if those people’s intentions are pure.
Engulfed with bitterness, they start acting differently to everyone. Even those that really care are affected. Little by little they push everyone away till they are alone. Even all the sympathy is gone. It is at this stage reality creeps in, like darkness. At this stage, all they have is them and they realize they are the only ones that can help themselves. Some brave ones take the bull by the horn and fight their way out of the situation. But not all of them have that kind of bravery. Some wallow in self-pity and worsen their situation. Some overthink till they find no more reason to exist and end their lives, while some are lucky to get help.
What people don’t realize is that people in terrible situations need little or no sympathy. Yes, that’s the only way some people can express how sorry they are but many have forgotten actions speak louder than words. It didn’t occur to them that proffering solutions, being there for people that find themselves in terrible situations and supporting them in cash and kind, no matter how small are better ways of showing sympathy.
It also didn't occur to them that there’s a cure like love. Though love can be expressed in words, the better way, even the best way of expressing it is through actions. I guess you’ll agree with me that the word ‘I love you’ or ‘I really care for you’ has become what people say nonchalantly in this day and age that it does not have it’s supposed effect. Nothing makes people heal like love and support or how more sorry can one be with a raise in the case of someone that has just lost his house or being there for someone that just lost a loved one? No, one can’t fill the lost person’s space but it’ll be better than just telling the person you feel sad for him.
It’s easy to make the excuse of not knowing how to love or to say we don’t know any other way to help than words but we can learn. We make excuses for things we don’t deem important. If we really want to help people in bad situations which I think everyone should to make the world a better place, we should learn to love and support them and do more than words. Words of motivation are not bad, in fact, listening to them frequently makes people heal faster but we should do more than words.
With love, orphans can stop feeling they have no one and with support, people in crisis can get back on their feet. People in crisis or bad situations need less of sympathy and more of love and support. People react wrongly to sympathy but no one can react wrongly to love and support. Who knows, with love and support, will to live can be revived and reasons to continue living can be provided and suicide cases can reduce.
MORE OF LOVE AND SUPPORT AND LESS OF SYMPATHY!
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